Fishstick Friday

My work email is down. I have a few impending projects that I can’t really do a whole lot on because my email is down, blah. So I am, naturally, surfing the web avoiding what little work I actually can do.

I have heard a lot about the book “The 4-hour Work Week” by Tim Ferris but its been mixed reviews. Some people say he’s crazy and that his methods don’t work for everyone (…most people also think he’s a little eccentric and kind of cocky, ok really cocky…) but everyone seems to agree that he’s on to something.

I started reading his blog today and its pretty interesting. I like today’s post, specifically this quote:

Doing the Unrealistic is Easier Than Doing the Realistic

He advocates setting BIG goals, goals that motivate and inspire. I like that, I like it a lot.  The boldness of it really gets to me. I agree that his methods may not work for everyone and that they are a little bit out there. But I also think that (I have not read the book this is just me hypothesizing from what I have read about the book) most people could learn something from him about priorities and time management in relation to what your priorities are.

I’m going to put some thought into what my Big Bold Goal is and post it here soon. I imagine it will be something about how to NOT work and live all over the world, but I will fine tune that.

Otherwise known as Limbo. Not the fun kind of limbo that you do at Luau’s and Sock Hops, the kind that forces you TO NOT DO A DAM THING.

This is what I am conflicted about: I miss my life. I miss weekends and shopping and enjoying my job. I miss the little things as my life seems completely consumed by one HUGE thing.

BUT then I think about all the wonderful fantastic things that I am going to be doing and how much fun and all the adventures I will be having, for an ENTIRE YEAR.

Then I feel guilty. I think why am I so ungrateful that I cannot be 150% excited all the time about this amazing trip. Why can I not constantly think about all the things I am giving up to do this versus everything I will be gaining?

Here’s what I have determined: I’m never fully satisfied.

But you know what? I’m starting to be ok with that. I’m starting to understand that it’s ok to dive head first into something and then yearn for other things. I used to always wish (and sometimes still do) that I had one true passion that drove me and I would be so much better off because I was really good and really interested in ONE THING. I’m starting to realize that THAT is pretty much not going to happen.

I will always want more. I will always want something else. I will always be plotting and scheming trying to get myself to where I want to be at the time. But as long as I don’t forget my friends and keep the people I really love close to me, WHAT’S WRONG WITH FOLLOWING YOUR INTERESTS?

No it might not be a “passion” (yet) and no I might not be really good at it (at first), but YES I have always wanted to do it, and YES it might lead to other greater things.

If going on this trip teaches me nothing else then that it’s ok to do something different with my life then I will be satisfied. For once, but only for about a minute.

God I am so bored right now….and I refuse to work!
There are about one bazillion things that I could be doing right now that would be a gazillion trillion times more interesting then anything I have to do right now.

I obviously have a great attitude these days. WOW.

I’m also suffering from something I’m calling “Bed Insomina” (patent pending). Bed insomnia is a very specific type of insomnia that only happens when you actually try and fall asleep in your own bed. I fall asleep in front of the TV more regularly then I should. Last night, for example, although last night was the most waste-of-a-night nights I have had in a very LONG time, I fell asleep in front of the couch watching Real Housewives of New York City, woke up around, no joke, 9:45 and went to bed with Ben, who was already fast asleep.

Then I laid there. Laid there thinking about all the million things on my mind that had previously not been there, previously being when I was asleep on the couch 15 mins prior. I then toss and turn for what feel like a really long fucking time!

Its been happening more frequently then I would like.  And it makes me tired and cranky in the morning which is unfortunate.

Back to pretending that I am actually working.