-14 hours

Its Tuesday in Thailand right now. Specifically its 12:15 AM on Tuesday. Seattle is 14 hours behind.

Oh, and its 84 degrees.

Holy shit.

Updates and Misc Crap

Just got back from watching my cousins for four days, 7 year old and a 4 year old. It was fun and very tiring! Added about 4-5 years on to when I think I want to have kids for sure. I’m glad I (and when I say “I” I mean “we” because Ben came as well and I know that I would not have gotten through it without him, he was great) was able to do it though for a couple of reasons.

1. I think it was a really special time for me and the boys to bond and spend some time together. Which with our impending departure I hope stays with them for awhile.

2. I feel like I got to know them better and am now more trusted by them and have a more solid relationship that I can build on as they grow up. I feel like we all got closer.

3. I think I learned some important things about “parenting” and  picked up a few lessons that I’m sure I will draw upon when I have kids. My faveorite one is if you take your kids to an all-you-can-eat-buffet, like say Izzy’s, let them have as many desserts as they want. Its not like anything is healthy that they are choosing from, excpet maybe a carrot you sneak on there, and most likely they won’t get past 3 bowls of ice cream. Bottom line: You’re not eating healthy so who cares how much dessert they have.

We also had an amazing Thanksgiving dinner – yes THANKSGIVING. Turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie were had by all. I actually think it was our best Thanksgiving in awhile! Everyone was laughing and getting along and the food was great. I did get a little emotional when I realized that I actually will not see my family for a year. Mostly it was hard to leave my Aunt looking like a mini alien with no hair, eyebrows, or eyelashes. The three of us (Aunt, Unlce and me) had a group hug and I was told that everyone would still be here when I got back, and everyone would have hair again. So sweet, and made me cry a little more.  I wasn’t really sure how I was going to react but I’m glad I was able to really feel my emotions and didn’t hold back in showing them.

We also got our backpacks wich is completely surreal…head over to bsaroundtheworld for more on that topic. My cousins have been so incredibly supportive and have provided so much great insight and actual stuff for our trip. We could not be luckier to have them….(and NO Diana I am not just wiritng that because I know you read this sometimes, its the truth.)

I have 18 days left at HL2. Its the weirdest thing ever, I can’t even begin to explain to you how crazy it is to be so close to an event that will change my life forever.

The Petulant child and Champagne at Work

I love mimosas. As I sit here enjoying one at work in honor of Kiersten’s impending nuptials (I think that is a quote from a movie but I can’t remember which one….) I can’t help but think that every day should start with a little OJ and champagne. Don’t you think that everyone would be in such a better mood at work if that is how we all started our days?!? I certainly do….and by the way I am on my THIRD one. Account management meeting here I come!!! What do I care – I’m leaving in 2 months.

Anyway the title of this post takes two completely different things and sticks them together.

Petulant:

moved to or showing sudden, impatient irritation, esp. over some trifling annoyance

I’ve been living with my mom for the last two weeks. If you read this blog regularly you know that this would probably be something very hard for me to do. And if you don’t read this blog let me tell you that THIS HAS BEEN VERY HARD FOR ME. In an effort NOT to go completely crazy I scheduled a therapist meeting to discuss some tools I could use to handle this situation a little better. Typically my therapist (like most I believe) lets me come to my own conclusions. She’s a guiding force and asks the right questions and leads me in the right direction but I always come to the conclusions on my own. In some instances it has taken months for me to have a light bulb moment and say “oh yeah now I get it”. However given that I don’t have months and I need to cohabit with someone who regularly drives me crazy I needed some answers a bit faster than normal.

So we started the session with her asking me how I deal with crazy requests from my mother, I reenacted my response and as soon as I was done she said “You act like a petulant child” to which I responded “my mom says that all the time, and oh by the way what does petulant mean?”

Then after talking about it some more I was having a hard time grasping this concept and asked her to physically reenact my behavior. She grabbed my sunglasses started twirling them around, slumped deep in her chair, got a scowl on her face and started mumbling and generally looking like a sour-puss. Light bulb went off. I thought “oh shit. I do that. I do that a lot.” Immediately I was embarrassed as I recalled all the instances and situations in which I have this type of behavior. GROSS.

The problem is I don’t often know how to express my emotions in a healthy way. My “petulatnt child” persona is my way of expressing anger and removing myself emotionally from the situation. If I do that I don’t ever feel anything. I force everyone else to deal with my inability to process my own emotions. I force them to deal with my regression because I can’t express myself. And ya know what? Its really dumb. The other part about it is that I work in extremes. I have this form of expression or I blow up. I think this mainly happens when I am angry. Other emotions I can express, anger often turns into annoyance. I think. But sometimes I think I do it when I am uncomfortable because I am trying to appear superior by not caring. Which is what the petulant child does – they don’t care and they are annoyed when you even suggest they should care.

Anyway I think this is a really important discovery for me and now my homework is to find 5 instances in the next two weeks where I do this (shouldn’t be very hard). But I also want to start trying to find some balance. I love moments like this – when you realize what is holding you back and you try and fix it!

Two Tripple Cappuccinos and a Venti Latte in Bangkok

No, we haven’t left yet. The title of this post is part of the elaborate sequence of codes that I am coming up with to talk about all the rude and crude things that happen to me/us while we travel. The above line translates to we did it six times and only onen of those times was in the ass. Jk. I think what I have decided is to keep up this blog while I am travelling as well and tell all the real raunchy stories that I wouldn’t want our extended families reading.

So check it out, I already have a few posts going over there. Its not very pretty yet I’m going to try and rope in the intern to do a cool masthead design.

www.bsaroundtheworld.wordpress.com

A few new recent obsessions

Per usual I have a bug up my butt about a few things. This happens to me fairly regularly where I think and think and think about something and I cannot let go of it.

1. Tent trailers. (I think that is what they are called…) I just cannot get over this ingenious little invention. Its a mini house in a box! Some of them even have small toilets and showers, those are the “delux” models though. I would be happy with one that had a stove and a queen size bed. The best thing about them is that you don’t need to have some giant rig to pull it. You could pull it behind an older Volvo wagon, which is just fine with me.

2. Working in retail. Don’t ask me why on this one. I think that working at Jillians has given me a taste for what its like to have a job that you can just walk away from. The entire day encapsulates what you need to do, and when you leave, you’re DONE. I also have this intense fantasy that I would start working at Jcrew and I would become the most sought after sales person because I provide more of a consultant role, not just grab different sizes. This would go so well that I would quit and start my own personal shopping business. Lets be honest, that probably won’t happen. But I will continue to dream about it until something else sounds more interesting…

I am no Mechanic.

My mom has always gone to the same place to get her cars fixed - Dave’s Lynnwood Chevron. Its right by the park & ride in Lynnwood, which makes pick up and drop off easy and Dave is a nice guy.

As we prepare for the trip I am TRYING to sell my car (Ps if you know anyone looking for a 93 Ford Explorer with a TON of problems, please let me know) I think i will be able to sell it for around $800.

The point of this post really is to talk about this site that I found http://repairpal.com/. Its seems like a very cool resource. You enter your car make and year and then you can choose from a preset list of things that might be wrong with your car. Once you do that it gives you a quote for getting it fixed. There are also a bunch of other cool resources.

I’m reminded of a time when I was stranded in Yakima with a broken alternator and the ONLY open repair shop was trying to charge me over $400!! Luckily I was able to get around this…which is a whole other story, and quite long. But if I would have had this I could have at least gone in there with some ammunition in the form of knowledge, and been like “dude go lick your balls I am not paying you that much money, douche bag”.

Hard slap in the face by REALITY

Due to Ben’s recent health issues he’s been really proactive about figuring out what he can and can’t eat, which is AMAZING.

But everyone has their moments of weakness and sometimes he just wants a big juicy burger. In the past we would head on over to Red Robin at least once a month, if not more, so that has become our unicorn (mythical creature you can’t ever have) when it comes to food. So today he sent me this link: http://www.redrobin.com/home/customizer.aspx

You can go customize your meal and see how many calories you would be eating. GULP.

So he puts in a blue cheese burger with a side of blue cheese and fries and its OVER 2,000 calories. Holy shit. That is soooo much! I mean I know that its bad for you but really? That bad?

And then I took a small step off of my high horse because when we used to go to Red Robin I would say “oh I’m just going to get a shake and fries. I don’t need a whole burger”, with more then a hint of condescension in my voice. I looked up fries with a side of ranch and a shake – OVER 1,600 calories.

And now I have sunk into a deep depression.

Basically in the show “Cops”

At Jillians (the lovely billarids club I work at part time) this Sunday night one of the bouncers came up to me and asked if I was parked nearby. I said no but I had already agreed to give the other bouncer Bruno ( no I’m not Kidding, and yes he is about 400 pounds and Sumoan) a ride to his bus stop downtown so I would be safe on my two min walk to my car. He then tells me that there has been this creepy guy JUMPING OUT FROM THE BUSHES for the last couple of days scaring people, and oh yeah following them after he jumps out and scares them. Yes this is my life. I work across the street from the residence (read: PUBLIC PARK) of a crazy homeless guy that I regularly walk by at 2:30 AM.

So anyway, he tells me he’s called the cops twice already and they haven’t been able to catch him. Apparently he is a very nimble creepy homeless guy. No less then five mins after he tells me this four cops cars come whipping around the corner going up on the sidewalk and practically drive into the bramble bushes on the perimeter of Lake Union. I then see the N.C.H.G (nimble, creepy, homeless, guy) walking, not running, away from the cops. Then there are about 10 cops sourrounding him and they are all walking in this big blob because the N.C.H.G keeps walking and no one will take him down. As they are approaching a busy intersection someone realizes that this walkoff needs to end soon. Out comes the taser gun and after no less the FOUR attempts at tazing him, he finally goes down. Now I have no idea if the N.C.H.G had a weapon of somesort but I can’t imagine he had more then just a big rock, and while that could be lethal if used correctly, I seriously doubt it required more then 4, AT THE MOST, fully armed cops to get the situation under control. But hey what do I know.

It certianly broke up the monotony of the night and effectively cleared a lot of people out of the club, which always makes me happy.

I’ve tried to write a few posts lately and everytime I do I get distracted.

I have nothing really “fun” to write about. <I know saying that IMPLIES that all my other posts have been about “fun” stuff or are somehow “funny” and yes, I am going to imply that.>

Do I have writers block? I don’t really consider myself a writer so that can’t be…? Has nothing interesting been going on in my life? No, not really, I’ve had a few interesting events. I just haven’t been able to FOCUS on writing two paragraphs.

A couple of eventful things that have happened:

1. Ben found out he has REALLY high cholesterol. So this means we are drastically changing our eating habits and he is trying to loose his little belly. If that doesn’t work then we may have to resort to medication (yes it’s THAT high) but we’re trying to avoid that at all costs. It’s also brought up some weird tension between me and his mom. She wants him on the meds and I, obviously, want to try some other options first. She’s very nice (read: Passive Aggressive) about it, but it makes me cringe a tiny bit every time she brings it up, which is every time we eat around her, which is pretty much every time we are with her. And I still just can’t get over how people’s genetics fuck them so much. I mean Ben runs MARATHONS, yes that an “S”, he has already run two and will run another one next month. But it just runs in his family so he has to be extra careful.  

2. Ben turned 26. I am officially dating a very old man. I’m clinging to my 24-year-old-ness with all my might.

3. I had to tell my boss about the trip. Of course I got assigned to an account of my own, TWO months before I leave, although it probably won’t end up being all that interesting, I felt that she needed to know what my commitment level is and be able to more properly staff it. That was a hard conversation to have but I also felt like a weight has now come off my shoulders.

4. Trip planning is in full force. I am now trying to complete a DETAILED budget (as detailed as you can get on a trip that has no real itinerary), which is frankly killing me and I kinda just want to say FUCK IT EXCEL.

And thats about it. Life has settled into a sort of auto-pilot mode……

A case of the Mondays on a Tuesday

I woke up this morning thinking it was Thursday. Great way to start the day. I have been really uninspired lately to write anything. There just doesn’t really seem to be that much going on and I am in a perpetual state of BLAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I have absolutely no inspiration to do anything. I don’t even want to do things that I shouldn’t be doing like surfing the web and looking at cool design blogs or spending hours on RedFin or Etsy. I just want to sit on the couch and zone out and EAT ice cream.

I have also started obsessively reading the Thailand section of our guidebook. As if reading it over and over will really prepare me for what we’re actually doing in the next year. The memorization is calming to me, makes me feel like I’ve actually been there before and will know what to do when we get there.

I’ve also noticed that Ben and I have begun to create this life for ourselves (in our minds) for when we get back. Typical sentences start with “When we get back from the trip……..” which is then followed by something, anything, that for reasons caused by the trip we can do right now. Essentially we have put a hold on our life. Which really I’m fine with because a lot of the things we talk about are BIG things like buying a house or new cars or career changes, which I don’t think I am ready for.